Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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