Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You're so nebulous sometimes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
