Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
