Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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