Dual....:-)
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
