Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
