she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
