good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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