i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
