Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
