I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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