I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
