i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
