I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
