Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
