She said her name was "party"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
