Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
