On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
