So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
