There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
