Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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