I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
His hands were made for my vagina.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
