Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
