Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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