She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
