I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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