spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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