Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
