Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
