Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
