Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
