my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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