i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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