i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
