i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
