Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
