Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
