At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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