Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
