when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
