great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
