Are we in a gay sports bar?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
