She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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