i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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