3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
