You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
