Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
