Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
