bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
