It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You took a bar mat shot.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
