trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
