let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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